A letter to my friends.

hilikuS · Site Admin Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 999

Alright so here's the letter that I'm going to send to my alien friends.

Valued comrades,

I am in need of a favor. It appears as though a race of catlike creatures intends to conquer our planet in the interest of saving their own race. Their planet is completely diminished of all food supplies, and the land is no longer usable for agriculture. While I am a mere test pilot, and this request may be beyond my bounds, I urge you to respond with some aid. What I am asking is whether or not you have the technology at your disposal to save their planet, or if you can possibly get it. Their planet is rich in what us humans call "precious metals" mainly gold. I realize that gold isn't as valuable to other races though. They do have things to offer in exchange for the technology that I ask. Mind you, this is not for us to use. While it could improve our own methods, I am only asking that it be used to help THEIR race, and only to save our planet from being invaded. Wilhelm Scream, one of my co-workers on the force has already tried to enter negotiations with the leader of the cat creatures to try and solve the problem. He mentioned trading our grain (which is what they're mainly after) in return for the riches of their planet. While it may help them somewhat, I very much doubt my country, or even the entire population of Earth will be able to produce enough resources for two planets.

What I'm hoping for is the best of both worlds. Possibly a way to help them along with trade from Earth, and an overall solution to try and return their planet, or another unoccupied planet into a productive place for agriculture. As I have mentioned, Earth would greatly benefit from the rich gold deposits on the alien planet, and we could use them to improve our world as a whole. While gold is viewed as a commodity to show status, it also has practical means. The development of our computer technology would benefit greatly from a large supply of gold. As you know, the technology runs with electricity, and gold is a far superior conductor to the ones we are using. I know that the inner parts of the processors we use have gold inside to provide for the speed we have now, but with large amounts, we would be able to use them throughout our machines. This would be a VERY powerful tool in improving our world, and eventually, allowing us to explore other galaxies, and become part of the intergalactic community.

I humbly ask that you help us in this regard,

*signed* Daniel Coomer *signed*
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BP's Video Game Wishlist!:
1. Death Master 3001
2. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing in Hell
3. Devil May Cry: Wolf

FatCat · Senor Pibb Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 323

Edit by Dan:(Out of game because I'm a stupid asshat that can't read instructions)

So the shit has finally hit the fan. Can someone give me the finer details of how this happened?
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Totems aren't "pack licenses," they're not handed out by the National Registry of Uratha Pack Services as soon as you complete Form 12458-B, Petition for the Formation of a Pack (Tribes of the Moon and Unaffiliated). - Kordeth

hilikuS · Site Admin Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 999

thejangler · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:04 am Post subject:

Bill:

(your lights in your house in Spain flicker on and off. Wind comes shooting through the open windows. When you look outside you see a small, cigar-shaped ship about 20 feet long and 5 feet high. A small platform extends from the ship and touches the ground. When you go outside, a door on the ship opens and a bright, orange light emanates from the door. Eventually, two small, childish looking figures nearly glide from the door, down the ramp, to your front yard. Their features are small and their figures are slender. You think that they look almost stereotypical in their appearance. Their clothing is nothing but a tight-fitting robe that is tied at their waists. One turns to you after surveying the landscape and makes a series of "coo's". Your communicator lights up and the text reads as follows.)

Coomer; we appreciate your concern for this race. It is this compassion that you show which made you an excellent candidate for our experiment.

We have reviewed the situation, and have decided that though it is usually in our best interest to stay out of intergalactic politics, we could offer assistance. However, we cannot do so without something in return. Please tell the leader of this race that we request a meeting with them and we will try to relieve you, and Earth of the situation. If you have any other requests of us, please tell us now because we will not meet again face to face for a very long time. We just happened to be, as you say, "in the neighborhood".

(They both tilt their heads to one side, awaiting any questions you may have...)
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hilikuS · Site Admin Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 999

Well I uhh... Jeez, you kind of caught me off guard here. I don't think I have anything else that Earth really needs help with. I mean we have problems, but this one was kind of real big ya know? I'm assuming I'll be able to send you the data that I gather still. Is there any changes to how I'm to go about doing that? Anything else you'd like me to test? So far the gear is working excellent. I have cleared things with security in Europe and the US, so I can pretty much fly anywhere I want in order to test. I just have to keep out of the jetstream. I was thinking though, can this contraption go into space? Seems like it would be something to try. I've been dying to try it, but I'm wondering if it's fit to do so.

Also, I have to ask since you'll be leaving for a long time. What do I do if I need something repaired? I mean, you built yourself something VERY durable here, but just in case.

I'm really at a loss as to anything else Earth might need help with. I'm sure there are plenty of things you could provide, but I feel as though this one favor is asking for enough. I actually have a communicator from one of the cat soldiers. It seems like that would be the best place to start with communicating. I will request a meeting with their leader right now actually.

*Requests a meeting with catlady.*

TBC.

(BTW, these guys are totally Azgard, and it's totally awesome.)
_________________
BP's Video Game Wishlist!:
1. Death Master 3001
2. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing in Hell
3. Devil May Cry: Wolf

hilikuS · Site Admin Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 999

Hey Dan, did ya get mah PM?
_________________
BP's Video Game Wishlist!:
1. Death Master 3001
2. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing in Hell
3. Devil May Cry: Wolf

thejangler · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 1:44 pm Post subject:

hilikuS · Site Admin Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 999

MMkay, no rush, just wonderin. I always forget to check those fuckers.
_________________
BP's Video Game Wishlist!:
1. Death Master 3001
2. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing in Hell
3. Devil May Cry: Wolf

thejangler · Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:32 am Post subject:

(The two beings look at each other and through a series of blinks between them, you can guess they are communicating with one another. When they are finished, one turns and begins cooing again. Your communicator lights up with the following message.)

Coomer, give us the communicator and we will handle negotiations with the feline race from here.

As you know, our bodies are too fragile to properly test the rocket fists we have given you. That is why we chose you, Coomer. You are strong in body and in mind. Your cooperation is appreciated throughout our race and in the future, the data we collect from your tests will help us travel amongst our planet at very fast speeds. Feel free to test the limits of these fists at your will. Do remember however Coomer, that we cannot be responsible for any injury that may come from your tests. If the fists fail, we will find out immediately and replace them as soon as we can.

We must leave now Coomer. If you need us, just hail on this communicator.

(The coos stop and the aliens blink at each other. They both raise their left hands and bow simultaneously. They turn and float back up the ramp and get swallowed by the bright orange light coming from insie the ship. The ship closes the door and raises the platform. The ship hovers for a couple seconds and then is gone in a flash leaving a gust of wind and barking dogs in the distance.)
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